Revenge of the Smithy
You would be wrong.
Revenge is the highlight of my day. Nothing actually makes a Goblin feel better than taking vengeance on those who have injured us.
Or betrayed us.
Today, I woke up with an overwhelming urge to distribute my own special version of justice.
It's just like regular justice, except instead of punishing those who commit crimes against the greater good, Smithy justice involves punishing those who commit crimes against the greater Smithy.
The greater Smithy being me, obviously.
But who? Who would make a fair target for my bottled rage? My endless bloodlust?
And who would make it very easy to do?
I needed someone who had wronged me. Someone who was worth destroying. Someone who is too stupid to make it time consuming.
I'll give you three guesses who I was going to hurt.
And the first two don't count.
That's right. Everyone's favorite punching bag:
Now, how was I going to find Pathfinder?
GoblinSmithy>> Man, I'm glad Pathfinder isn't here.
GoblinPathfinder>> Hey, Smitty.
That worked faster than I thought.
I never thought that fate's intense hatred of me could actually come in handy.
GoblinSmithy>> Heya, Pathfinder.
GoblinSmithy>> I was just looking for you.
GoblinPathfinder>> Well, you found me.
GoblinPathfinder>> Aren't you lucky?
GoblinSmithy>> In a manner of speaking, yes.
GoblinPathfinder>> What are you up to?
GoblinSmithy>> I was going to look for some paths.
GoblinSmithy>> Why? Did you want to come along?
GoblinPathfinder>> Heck YEAH!!!
Dear Altana, this boy makes it way too easy.
I mean, it's not even a challenge anymore.
GoblinPathfinder>> Can I bring my bee?
GoblinSmithy>> Sure, man.
GoblinSmithy>> Damn, you're retarded.
GoblinPathfinder>> What did you say?
GoblinSmithy>> I said it looks like rain.
GoblinPathfinder>> It is kind of cloudy.
GoblinSmithy>> We should get going.
GoblinPathfinder>> Where are we going?
Now, there's a good question.
Where would be a fun and interesting place to kill Pathfinder?
GoblinSmithy>> How about Western Altepa Desert?
GoblinPathfinder>> Ooooooooo, that sounds like fun.
GoblinSmithy>> It does, doesn't it?
GoblinPathfinder>> We could take my new car.
GoblinSmithy>> You have a car?
GoblinPathfinder>> Yup. It's a Nissan.
GoblinSmithy>> Don't say it.
GoblinSmithy>> I swear to Altana...
GoblinPathfinder>> It's a Nissan Pathfinder.
GoblinSmithy>> Shall we go?
GoblinPathfinder>> Don't forget my bee, Smitty.
Lord suffering Promathia...
GoblinSmithy>> Oh, I wouldn't forget him.
GoblinSmithy>> I'll be sure to kill him twice.
GoblinPathfinder>> What did you...
GoblinSmithy>> Rain, DAMMIT!
GoblinSmithy>> Let's go.
We got a Teleport from a passing Garnet Quadav and were on our way to Western Altepa.
GoblinPathfinder>> Hey look! A path!
GoblinPathfinder>> This is fun.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh yeah. This is a party.
GoblinSmithy>> Hey, look over here.
GoblinSmithy>> Over here.
GoblinSmithy>> By the cliff.
GoblinPathfinder>> Did you find a path?
GoblinSmithy>> Sort of.
GoblinPathfinder>> I don't see one.
GoblinSmithy>> I've got a riddle for you, Pathfinder.
GoblinPathfinder>> I love riddles.
GoblinSmithy>> Are you ready?
GoblinSmithy>> What season comes after Summer?
GoblinSmithy>> I bet you will.
I'll give him some credit. He managed to keep his cool for the first few seconds of the fall.
Either that or it took him that long to figure out what was going on.
You wouldn't think a little Goblin would make that much of a splatter.
The bee landing on top of him probably didn't help.
I was just about to head home when I noticed a strange shadow behind me. This was kind of weird because I was sure nightfall was still a few hours away.
That's when I turned around and noticed a large, dark wall directly behind me.
A wall with claws.
A wall named King Vinegarroon.
One 1600 point weaponskill later and I had a new perspective on the world.
This may have been related to the fact that I was now seeing the world through the tattered remains of my face.
And possibly my spleen.
I blame Pathfinder for all of this. I really do.