Back to Basics

Let's recap the past couple of days, shall we?

I was killed by a crazy snake bitch. Then, I got killed by her army of skeletons. Then, I got killed by a legion of fleas with inferiority issues.

Yeah, life is going real well.

So, right after getting back to the mainland, I decided it was time to get back to my roots.

Well... the first thing I did was uninstall the expansion.

And then put the discs in my microwave.

And then I pulled out my harddrive and used steelwool on the sectors that the expansion had been saved on.

Then I decided to go back to my roots.

My roots being Yahtunga Jungle.

No more new areas, no more new species.

Smithy is going old school.

The air in the jungle seemed to vibrate with my presense. It was as if every n00b in Kazham suddenly understood that their doom was but one zoneline away.

Damn, it's nice to be home.

And do you know what else?

There were no Blue Mages, or Corsairs, or Puppetmasters, as far as the eye could see.

Apparently, my moron population control program is starting to work.

You're welcome.

I was just starting to wonder if this day could get any better when a level 28 Warrior ran by me.

Someone up there must love me.

Being the good citizen that I am, I politely explain to this poor unfortunate person that running that close to a Goblin can be hazardous to his health (read: I stabbed him a whole bunch).

GoblinSmithy>> Excuse me, good sir.
GoblinSmithy>> Can I interest you in a complimentary stabbing?

He turned around and pulled his axes.

AxeS. He was subbing Ninja.

Oh, freakin' fabulous.

Now, I have to spend an extra five minutes stabbing him and his shadows.

Damn you, Utsusemi.

Luckily, he didn't seem to be doing that much damage. I mean, those axes sting, but he's only level 28.

Plus, I'm getting in the occasional smack between his shadows.

GoblinSmithy>> Nice casting, Genius.
GoblinSmithy>> Why don't you head back to Qufim?
Warrior>> I think I'll stay here a while, thank you.
GoblinSmithy>> I hope you didn't plan on a long while.
GoblinSmithy>> I don't think you'll last much longer.
Warrior>> Don't be so sure, little man.

Why did this seem familiar?

Oh damn. His hp wasn't dropping.

And then I noticed something.

GoblinSmithy>> Can I ask you a question?
GoblinSmithy>> Why do you have Protect IV?
Warrior>> It's a surprise.
GoblinSmithy>> What kind of surprise?
Warrior>> Just a gift from adventurers who read your blog.

Oh.

Day.

Yam.

GoblinSmithy>> Your revenge is a level 28 WAR/NIN?
GoblinSmithy>> You need a better plan.
Warrior>> No.
Warrior>> Our bait is a level 28 WAR/NIN.
GoblinSmithy>> Bait?

BlackMage1 starts casting Fire IV.
BlackMage2 starts casting Thunder IV.
BlackMage3 starts casting Blizzard III.
BlackMage4 starts casting Flare.

GoblinSmithy>> Is it too late to apologize?

BlackMage1 casts Fire IV.
GoblinSmithy takes 897 points of damage.
BlackMage2 casts Thunder IV.
GoblinSmithy takes 1,022 points of damage.
BlackMage3 casts Blizzard III.
GoblinSmithy takes 941 points of damage.
BlackMage4 casts Flare.
GoblinSmithy takes 1,168 points of damage.
BlackMage1 defeats the GoblinSmithy.

GoblinSmithy>> &$^%&$%^&*%*&%
GoblinSmithy>> Isn't that a little bit of overkill?!
Warrior>> Love the blog, btw.

Sure is a good thing that I decided to get back to basics, huh?

Damn, I hate surprises.