Does It Make You Feel Big?

Do you guys all have serious inadequacy issues?

It's cool. You can tell me.

I totally understand if you're a giant loser.

But does you being a complete and utter failure mean that you have to come to my jungle and pick a fight with me?

I thought we were friends.

Every couple of days lately, a high level player will come and pick on me.

No, no. Not like picking up for people in Yuhtunga. That's because you're trying to impress them.

I mean the tards who follow me out to Yhoator and come and stab me for no good reason.

At least let me kill a few n00bs or something.

I can accept a stabbing if I deserve it.

But no. Some high level, low IQ bastard has to come around and kill me.

And not just once, mind you.

Oh no.

These pricks hang around and kill me again.

And again.

And again.

That's not cool.

I mean, yeah kill me. That's the point of the game.

But do you really need to spend your day stalking me?

I'm not that important.

Yesterday afternoon, I decided to take a nice, relaxing duty shift in Yhoator.

You know, hang out around the caves, kill any moron walking by.

Normal goblin stuff.

That's when this damned high level Hume THF walks up to me and decides to kick my ass.

Seriously.

I'm just standing there, minding me own business, when all of a sudden I hear him say something about a Sneak Attack and then...

BOOM! I'm looking out of the other side of my head.

GoblinSmithy>> Way to sneak up behind a guy.
GoblinSmithy>> Very honorable.
Thief>> That's for killing me when I was level 29.
GoblinSmithy>> I thought you looked familiar.
GoblinSmithy>> You don't forget that kind of ugly.
Thief>> Now, we're even.
GoblinSmithy>> You should go get even with your mom.
GoblinSmithy>> I mean DAMN!
Thief>> Shut up.
GoblinSmithy>> Do you want my mask?

He got angry after that and stalked off.

I waited what I thought was a fair amount of time and then I HPed back to my spawn point.

And guess who was there.

Thief>> Surprise!!!
Thief>> (( Sneak Attack )) --> GoblinSmithy
GoblinSmithy>> You're a jerk.

So, now, I'm sucking dirt again.

And does he leave?

No.

He waits.

The stupid bastard is waiting for me to HP again.

GoblinSmithy>> What the hell are you doing?
Thief>> I'm getting revenge.
GoblinSmithy>> For what?!
Thief>> All those times you killed me.
Thief>> I'm going to make you pay.
GoblinSmithy>> Oh gosh! I killed da big bad Thief.
GoblinSmithy>> Iz oo gonna cwy?
Thief>> Just wait.
Thief>> I've got all day.
GoblinSmithy>> I bet you do.
GoblinSmithy>> Maybe you should get a girlfriend.

I was hoping if he got pissed off enough, he might just leave.

Sadly, he didn't seem to be going anywhere.

I'd HP and BAM!

Dead.

HP.

Dead.

What the hell was I going to do?

Then I got an idea.

GoblinSmithy>> Psssssttt.
GoblinSmithy>> Pathfinder.
GoblinPathfinder>> What do you want?
GoblinSmithy>> Do you want to be friends again?
GoblinPathfinder>> What's the trick?
GoblinSmithy>> No trick.
GoblinSmithy>> ...
GoblinSmithy>> I saw a path I wanted to show you.
GoblinPathfinder>> A path?
GoblinSmithy>> Oh yeah. A really cool path.
GoblinSmithy>> Just hop on over.
GoblinPathfinder>> I'm coming, buddy.

I waited a few minutes and, just as I was starting to wonder if that idiot got lost, I saw him come around a turn and head right toward the Thief.

With his bee.

GoblinSmithy>> Hey, big double ugly.
GoblinSmithy>> I don't have to HP.
Thief>> And why's that?
GoblinSmithy>> My friend is here.
GoblinSmithy>> He'll teach you a lesson.
Thief>> That moron?
Thief>> Oh please.

The Thief turned and rushed Pathfinder. He pulled out his dagger and went to work on him.

Pathfinder wasn't just going to sit there and take it, though. He pulled out his weapon and both of them went at it.

Perfect.

I waited. And waited. And waited.

The Thief was obviously going to win, but Pathfinder was taking down his health pretty well.

Just as Pathfinder was about to die, I HPed and snuck up right behind the Thief.

GoblinSmithy>> Surprise!!!
GoblinSmithy>> (( Sneak Attack )) --> Thief

And I stabbed him with everything I had.

In the ass.

Thief>> WTF?!
GoblinSmithy>> How do you like it, bastard?
Thief>> You stabbed me in the ass.
GoblinSmithy>> You asked for it.

The Thief finished off Pathfinder pretty quick after that.

Apparently, a sword in the lower colon is great motivation.

Then he turned on me. Honestly, I didn't have a chance.

Maybe it was his higher level.

Maybe it was the fact my sword was no longer in my hand.

Maybe it was me laughing too hard to fight back.

Either way, I got stabbed in the face again and died, still laughing.

But then, strangely, he walked (read: limped) away.

GoblinSmithy>> Wait...
GoblinSmithy>> Are you leaving?
Thief>> Shut up.
GoblinSmithy>> I want that sword back.
Thief>> SHUT UP!
GoblinSmithy>> Why the hate?
GoblinSmithy>> What got stuck up your ass?

I may have lost the battle, but I won the war.

GoblinPathfinder>> I'm glad we're friends again.
GoblinSmithy>> Die in a fire.